On my right wrist, I have tattooed “Just Breathe.” During this entire month of training, I’ve had a hard time breathing. Running 4 times a week and crossing training one day a week leaves me breathless (tired out of my mind). I have even fallen asleep with my clothes on (running clothes on too. TMI. I know). As you can see, it took me a while to post this video as well. I am sorry for that. But I swear, I have been training and trying to keep my head above water.
Week 5 is all about trying to refocus my energy and not be consumed with training. First, I NEED to paint. With a paintbrush in my hand, I feel invincible almost like god speaking to me with each stroke. He whispers in my ear and tells me I will be ok. I understand myself through the different colors of oil paints. The colors I choose reflect my mood. Somebody send me a text and remind me to paint please. I will even send you a painting in return. Secondly, I haven’t taken time to call the people I love. My great-grandmother is in her early 90′s. I don’t know when the last time that I had a phone conversation with her. I carry her with me, but I need to hear voice. She doesn’t have much longer here on this earth.
Even though this piece should be about me running and instead I’m rambling. I dedicated part of the video to someone very dear to my hear, my silent warrior. I pray that you are well and I just want you to know that I am sorry. To my dear readers: if you have ever hurt someone, lied to someone, and didn’t appreciate someone, you must tell them the truth. The honest truth. I didn’t tell the truth and I didn’t tell him how much I appreciated him. I was too caught up in being perfect. When perfection can only be achieve when you give your all to someone and allow them to love you. I hid a lot of myself. Mostly because, I was scared of ME and accepting all of my insecurities.
Training has been very helpful in my self-discovery. Thank you Zora Magazine for letting me share my story.
And one day, I will be able to love.. and love unconditionally.
Here is the video:
Peace and Love,