Happiness is Contagious

April 5, 2012 by Leave a Comment

While watching a live stream of TEDxHarlem, a young speaker named Khadim Diop said “Happiness is a disease, but not deadly.” It was a simple yet profound way of describing the ability to set the tone for positivity, productivity and plain ol’ fun in your daily life. TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. TED which stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design is a nonprofit organization known for TEDTalks; a suite of short, carefully prepared talks, demonstrations and performances on a wide range of subjects to foster learning, inspiration and wonder as well as provoke conversations. This 14-year old speaker imparted his wisdom with the global masses. I thought to myself, he’s got it and I hope everyone else catches this ‘happiness’ bug!

Watch live streaming video from tedx at livestream.com
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Find a Warm Place and Build

March 29, 2012 by Leave a Comment

A few weeks back I spoke on a Career Panel with my mentee’s mentees who participate in a program called NYU Reaching Out. It is a mentorship program for high school girls created by a group of NYU Opportunity Program students. The other panelists and I shared advice on how to position yourself for success in college and in your career. One of the panelists had this suggestion to share: to find your warm place. This is not a hippie way of saying go where you’re comfortable, but rather surround yourself with like-minded, supportive individuals.

In recollection of my own path, I found “warm places” in various organizations including Management Leadership for Tomorrow (MLT), NYU Opportunity Programs and WEST just to name a few. They all supported and invested in my growth in different ways, which prepared me to become the person I am today, and supports my continuous evolution. MLT provided a warm place for me to grow as a professional, NYU OP provided the warm place for me to grow as a student and WEST provided the warm place for me to grow as young woman. While I greatly owe my foundation to my amazing mother, these groups greatly influenced my capacity to build and achieve my goals.

Women of Excellence, Strength and Tenacity, Inc. (WEST) consists of young women who are college students, graduate students and young professionals. We also coordinate a mentoring program for 5th grade girls at The Harriet Tubman Learning Center (PS 154). We meet in Harlem and participate in monthly community service projects and social events. We are a 501(c)3 nonprofit entity with a very bold mission to empower women, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation or social status.We work to develop the gifts, talents and leadership abilities of all young women as they become  influential voices in the global world. This year I am proud to say that WEST and I will be springing forward at our 3rd Annual Empowerment Conference. As an active member for 3 years, I look forward to our event themed “Triumph Over Trials”. Rightly named, nothing worth having is easy, and the ladies of WEST have certainly worked hard for the past 2 conferences leading up to this one. We expect double the attendance of our first event, and we have extraordinary guest speakers including Liz Black, Phyllis Yvonne Stickney and Erica Ford.

Workshops include Declaring Financial Independence, Building Quality Relationships from a Male’s Perspective, Women in Media: MissRepresentation and many more.

On Saturday, March 31, 2012 join us while finding your warm place and build!

 

 

 

Filed Under: Blog, College Life, Featured, Lifestyle, Other Side, Relationships, She Rules Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Start Strong, End Strong

December 26, 2011 by Leave a Comment

The other day mama told me, “ How you start is how you end up”.  I loosely interpreted her advice in the context of dating. If you start with a work in progress you will end up continuously working on this man you have chosen to invest your tireless energy, intelligence and creativity.

Due to motherly instinct, women often find themselves in positions where they want to help and develop others. Nonetheless, you can’t be everybody’s mama! When you meet a nice young man the first thought should not be how can I help him grow, but how will we grow together. If the pace seems lop-sided, it is more than likely not worth your time. It is no woman’s responsibility’s to develop a man’s inadequacies. You will not be happy and neither will he, as he will be doing more work than ever to play catch-up (that’s if he cares to rise to the occasion).

If you date men with the hopes of developing them into the men you want to be, when and if you marry you will be raising your husband and children. You will find yourself instilling values in your children, teaching your children while your husband learns along with them! Given, as adults you both have a foundation, but again based on that imbalance of the pace at which both of you grow it will be a cumbersome and disappointing lifestyle. On the other hand, you start by welcoming, dating, conversing, and surrounding yourself with positive, progressive people you position yourself for nurturing balanced relationships.

Admittedly the pickings are slim in most major cities: NYC, Chicago, D.C., Atlanta and L.A., but this is where the strength, positivity and progression of the individual come into play. Don’t taint your beautiful mind with media buzz around Black women being undateable because you know what for every article and video clip about said topic I see four or more recently married couples in Jet magazine, within my own family, and amongst my colleagues at work. Whether you want to marry or get to know someone be assured the possibilities are there. Afford yourself the peace of mind that media is a microcosm of reality, when you leave your house it is your own doing whether you stop traffic or go invisible. Game recognizes game, and although you may not bag everything you set your eye on you are still getting noticed for better or worse. Every day is a new day. Starting the day upbeat with a welcoming attitude will not drain you but it will invite others to join you in your jubilation. Especially if you’re a young woman such as myself it’s pumping through our vanes!

I am not forgetting the fact that at times we attract someone from the far left who is completely and entirely incompatible, that should not be a downer, just smile and keep it moving! You never know behind that man yelling “hey light skinned, I like that dress” could be the man who is worth your time, but you were too frowned up to welcome him into a conversation. If you want to end up with a man similar to the likes of your beauty, intellect, ambition and attitude, it starts with you.

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No Traffic

December 2, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Ladies, no one can steal your lane.

I gained quite a bit from this simple statement at the 1st Annual WEST Retreat. Earlier this month, I participated in The First Annual Women of Excellence, Strength and Tenacity (WEST) Retreat at New York University. WEST is a non-profit organization for women’s empowerment  and this year the NYU chapter successfully hosted its first retreat. The event began with light breakfast, expectations for the day and interactive activities then ended with lunch and guest speaker, Ms. Tanea Smith, CEO of She’s Got Papers.

It was an amazing experience for growth and sisterhood. When I went in I told the group I wanted to be reborn. I know it’s deep, perhaps abstract, but my intent was to leave with a different perspective on my multifaceted woman-ness. I am a friend, a daughter, a cousin, a professional, a mentor and a mentee.

Fortunately my expectations were mett. I felt as though throughout the day various aspects of me had been revived and reborn. I recounted a childhood memory, threw out the negatives and dreamed with a group of tenacious young women. I left content with high spirits. The best takeaway was during the open forum with Tanea in which she said if you’re doing your own thing then don’t stress because “no one can steal your lane”. Tanea is always an incredible speaker. Her point stuck with me as I questioned how to manage doing my own thing while preventing people from knowing then stealing my every move.  I internalized her response, confidently accepting the fact there’s no traffic when you’re in your own lane.

Often, we get so caught up in the rat race, we lose sight of what makes us unique in our own right and separates us from what some might call ‘competition’. I found myself trying to create a delicate balance between protecting and sharing my ideas and accomplishments out of fear that someone could walk away with my empire, all that I have built. I worried as if someone could literally bottle up everything I’ve done, said and thought, and run away with it! After letting some wise words of advice settle in, it came to me what should be obvious to all aspiring thought leaders and success seekers, no one can steal your passion.

When you are passionate about something there is expertise and drive behind it which no other human being can take from you.

 

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Stay Relevant

November 4, 2011 by Leave a Comment

When my girls and I find a moment to connect the general consensus always seems to be “girl, I’ve been running around like a chicken with its head cut off!” Aren’t we always running? And damn if it doesn’t feel good to be occupied, active, accessible and in demand. Sometimes, that’s just the way to be.

For example, on Thursday, October 6, I attended Advertising Week, an annual advertising and marketing event gathering numerous thought leaders, innovators and associates. It is a platform for the industry to engage across media, culture and business at all-day events in various locations over the course of a week. As a representative for my company and my passion, I attended the event as a young Black marketing professional interested in leveraging the network and the knowledge at hand. My panels of choice were focused on the burgeoning of multicultural consumers and the evolution of the general market. It was invigorating to meet, hear and speak to so many passionate media professionals.  During that same day I replied to a few emails back at the office then I left to catch up with a colleague and speak at a general meeting for my women’s organization at NYU, WEST. That too, was refreshing. The conversation at hand was “Working Women”, and I felt more than honored that I was invited to speak to a group about a transition I made literally within the past six months! As the current President introduced me to the group, I realized I had not only shifted positions from student to professional, but my mindset had also changed.

Often during my last semester I prayed for God to:

1. Allow me to end on the same GPA

2. Continue guiding me in the right direction…. It worked!

Everyone wonders what the next step will be, but students ponder the consequences: I’m graduating but will I have a job? I have a degree but will I make a salary? I’m a woman, will I have equal pay? I’m studying bio will I be a doctor?!

I say of course you will. God has not placed you in such a position to squander all that is in front of you. At the age of 19 (not too long ago!), I developed this strong sensibility that if I have the tools, resources, prayers, and ability then I have what I need to pursue my desired goals. It was almost right after my first year of college I thought:  Ok, I think I have this results thing on lock.

I channeled this newfound energy to the fullest extent by attending every career fair, info session, panel and interview. I wasn’t affected by the concept of consequences because I knew I came this far, results were imperative not optional. Right after graduation, I took the reins on my weight and sleeping habits as well. Bye, bye famous frosh 15! Went HAM in the gym dancing and jogging. A rapper once said “don’t do it for the man, men never notice”. He’s right. After catching up on sleep, catching up on burned calories and really focusing on yourself holistically you’d be astonished at how content you are with who you are and what you’re doing.

Answering every concern and question the girls had, I thought about the times when I was most uncertain and understated my capability. Being occupied by work and events conjoined with being active in my community, the gym and my home has afforded me satisfaction and faith in my situation. In most cases, I do not doubt outcomes but I work to position myself for the best possible outcome. We are in charge of the results. The phrase “Actions speak louder than words” is factual. You think you can’t/won’t do something; Do it then see what happens, don’t be surprised if you do it right and achieve what you set out to accomplish.

Get in where you fit in and deep dive into your passion!

Filed Under: Blog, Career + Internships, Culture, Featured, She Rules Tagged With: , , , , ,

Where are We Going? Straight to the Top!

October 7, 2011 by Leave a Comment

With growth comes maturity, confidence, excellence, strength and tenacity. I knew I was confidently destined for success when I started my first semester at New York University in Summer ’07. I felt it in my bones that hard work and no sleep equals results. I went hard from July 2007 in the NYU Opportunity Programs summer session all the way until my early graduation and job offer in December 2010. I am blessed and grateful because I represent the niche population of young Black educated, professional women. I currently work at a global marketing research firm. I am an associate of a competitive 18-month rotational program that affords me the opportunity to gain cross-functional experience, network amongst associates and executives of diverse backgrounds, and travel across the United States. One word describes my mindset from start to end: thankful.

College was literally the stepping stone that helped shape my identity. Some people find themselves while traveling abroad, in church or in prison but I truly came into my own while in college. I worked with various organizations, mentored youth, learned another language, studied abroad, and recognized God’s work.  I notice that when I pray and work for those things which I desire, they happen. I do not doubt this phenomenon that God helps those who help themselves. Now, even after such a cathartic journey where I have reached this full-time, day-to-day, 9 to 5 job,  I still wonder how I will make my next mark within a large organization.  I want to leverage my passion for languages, people, communication and creativity to impact the company’s bottom-line and the various teams with which I work. In other words, I want to turn my love of languages, culture and business into a platform of empowerment for people of various ethnicities. Thankfully, I have already participated in working with Hispanic research as well as organizing an event about Multicultural Consumers which means my goal has already began to come into fruition without force, stepping on toes or pushing someone out of the way! I have naturally connected myself to a task involving my passion in the corporate belly of the beast. Although currently pleased with my work and direction, I know at any point I may come across some rocky roads and unfriendly faces so as always I pray for the best and surround myself in positivity and productivity because it’s contagious.  

Proud and thankful!

On a less rosy note,  I have found that post-college network/dating scene has much more variety and is all around better than the scant options of classmates, eye candy, friends or strangers on college campuses. Young female students with few male options fail to realize the world is enormously filled with beautiful, interesting people, and college is a microcosm of the greatness that exists beyond (in my case Union Square to Chinatown). I have been in the ‘real world’ for 3 months and surprise: I am continuously meeting new people. No matter the context there are always new faces, thoughts and persons surrounding me. I care less about what the articles, the economy, news interviews say, etc, etc. I just know when I wake my swag is on 100K, and the day begins. As a young woman in New York City, there’s no telling what new friends I might make, who I might date or marry, how my weekend might go, what I might learn, but what I do know is I’m going nowhere but up.

Young women channel your positivity until it radiates through your pores. This does not mean to act cocky, but rather always walk like you know you are meant to be la fokin moda , spanglish slang for beautiful and whole just the way you are, and destined for greatness).
Filed Under: Blog, Featured, Other Side